Younger Men Who Are Looking For Older Women - Information, Support, Stories, and Advice

I read a lot of online content about young men looking for older women, and I’m shocked at how bad most of it is.

I just read an article on eHow that explains How to Date a Cougar and listed six steps to take. The person who wrote the article must really not get the whole Cougar thing. In my experience, real cougars are usually women between 38 and 50, not ladies ready for the home!

One of the listed steps was “Take up mall walking.” Mall walking- really! Real cougars go to the gym or have jobs, they don’t spend their mornings in velour track suits walking at the mall with no men under 65 in sight.

Another step was - “Get a Job Working on a Seniors Only Cruise.” That’s even worse than the mall walking thing.

And lastly, and certainly the worst by far - “Eat Anywhere that has an Early-bird or Senior Special.” Do you think that a women who fits the Demi Moore Cougar mold is going to eat ANYTIME at a cafeteria or Olive Garden? Much less at 4:30 in the afternoon.

Just give me a big ‘ol freakin’ break. If you are looking for older women, please don’t do anything listed in that article besides flirting with women over 40 whenever you get a chance. Ya’ just never know.

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

Ladies learning to be Cougars and date younger men.

Judging from the comments they have lots of fans too!

cpmh1313 (2 weeks ago)

+1

Reply

I love older women an i would love to have a relationship with one of these cougars
they are all stunnin

When looking for an older woman in a bar or club, forget pick-up lines and crazy openers. Really, please forget them! They just seem silly to an older woman who has been around the block once or twice. The last thing you want is for her to think that you are immature and silly; it’s the kiss of death.

So the next time you are out and see a nice looking older woman or two sitting at the bar try this instead:

1. Slide up next to her to order your drink and slightly nudge or brush against her. Now don’t knock her over… just a bump.
2. Apologize for bumping her and touch her lightly on the shoulder while doing so. Smile.
3. When she turns to say “oh, that’s OK,” smile, stick out your hand and say “Hi, my name is…” and give her a nice firm handshake.
4. If she is by herself, compliment her on her business-like handshake and start talking like regular people do.
5. If she is with others and introducers herself, just say “Hi ***, nice to meet you. So how do you guys know each other?” Again, just start having a normal conversation and it’s that easy!

I won’t guarantee that she will take you home to bed, but she will be nice and polite and it only takes a few minutes of conversation to tell if she, or one of the other ladies in the group, might be open to the advances of a younger man.

So why is the whole bumping into her thing necessary? People who study social interactions have found that when someone new interrupts your conversation, it takes you about 3 or 4 seconds to evaluate what is happening. Are they dangerous, crazy, or drunk? Are they someone you know? During this time, they really don’t hear much of what you say.

So if you jump right in with a crazy story, she probably won’t hear any of and you’ll just look foolish. Bumping her gives her a chance to stop what she was doing, focus on you, notice that you are nice and non-threatening, then when you introduce yourself she feels comfortable enough to start a conversation. Science!

So give it a try, I promise it won’t hurt.

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

I ask this question all the time and I think women feel the same way Muslim men do… half your age plus seven seems to come up all the time.

This seems to work well for a 40 year-old woman who is deleriously happy with her 27 year-old man, but I’m not so sure it works for the 35 year-old woman and the 24 year-old guy.

Also, I was at a party where the entry age for Cougarness was listed as 32. 32! Unreal. In my book that is much too young to be considered a Cougar. If a 32 year-old wants to date a 26 year-old guy, that’s just normal dating in my book.

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

Ya know, you think that you are totally clued in on something like older women and younger men, and then you find out the you’ve missed a slang term that everyone else seems to know. Tadpoling is just such a word. My friends and I talk about this stuff all the time but we have just never used this term.

It goes back a few years and is used by women much more often than by men. But whereas older women may like being called a cougar, younger men really don’t like being called a tadpole. I mean, why would they!

When I asked around about the term, some women just loved it and couldn’t stop talking about the practice. “Baby-sitting with benefits,” was how one dark-haired beauty put it. The ultimate baby-sitter sex fantasy for both parties I think!

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

I hate to generalize, but when it comes to heating up an older women this is as close to a sure thing as I’ve seen. 80’s music. If you are out at a club and, let’s say the DJ plays some Journey, just stand back and watch the hot older women flood out onto the dance floor. No joke, it happens every time. There is just something about the bands and songs from that period that is a little “naughty” and they just can’t resit.

If you hear Poison, Motley Crue, or Bon Jovi, you are in for a show. These ladies will hit you with moves you rarely see outside of the strip club. Take a chance and wander out into the group, move, smile, make eye contact, and have fun - the rest will take care of itself. If you are looking for an older women, find a club that plays 80s music!

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

Many older women love sex with younger men, but when they get together, after a few drinks, the complaints usually involve one of these two things:

Inability to recognize, and respond to verbal and physical signals - Women expect a good lover to be able to pick up the signals she is sending out. If you pay attention, she is telling you how to get her where she wants to be. More of this, less of that. But the clues are usually subtle and many younger men don’t pick up on them. Pay attention, she will tell you how you are doing.

Bad oral sex - A common complaint is that many younger men are just not into giving oral sex. And that many who will gladly do it, are just not very good at it. The most common complaint? - Too hard or too rough. It’s a tender spot, take it easy. She will let you know if she wants you to crank it up. (see the first complaint)

Let a hot older woman explain ALL the details to you.

In Valerie Gibson’s handbook for older women seeking younger men “Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men,” she advises older women not to talk about their age. Many women are proud to talk about how old they are and enjoy the shocked response about how great they look. But, really, what’s the point?

I offer the same advice to younger men looking for older women. Just don’t talk about it. If an older women seems to be enjoying the conversation, why take a chance of ruining it by injecting reality. Maybe you are 25 and she thinks your are over 30. Just let it go, since it usually works in your favor.

Eventually the truth will come out, but hopefully by that time, her attraction for you will be well established, and she will find some way to rationalize your age differences even if they are greater than she imagined.

The same goes for asking her age. Besides being just plain impolite, why take the conversation in that direction? Focus on teasing, flirting, and making a fun connection. Let the age question go.

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

A recent article in the Denver Post examined the recent growth in older women dating younger men and finds that it is, well, complicated. But for sure, it is not the joke it once was.

There are a few reasons for this:

• Numbers - Almost 15 million single women ages 35-54. Plus, since young men are putting off marriage, there are more single, available men in their late twenties. A perfect match.
• Money - More than twice as many women make more than $75,000 a year now. More than double the number in 2000. This gives more women the means to really take of themselves at the gym, get a few nips and tucks, and spend more time out in the bars and clubs.
• Higher Looks Expectations - The women quoted in the article all agreed on one thing - they were disappointed in the quality of men their own age. They had spent hours working out and were looking great, they were not finding men their own age who matched them physically. Plus they felt that older men were dull, set in their ways, and not very exciting. “No magic.”

“Guys my age are fat and gross. I want the total package. I deserve the total package. I want hot and funny.”

They were still a little negative about finding a good, long-term match.

“Young guys are fun, but having a real relationship with one? I wouldn’t bet money on it. So it is kind of depressing.”

Once again they focused on the dating mistakes that younger men seem to repeatedly make when looking for older women.

The one big no-no according to these women is talking too much about wanting to get married and have kids too soon. They realize that they are probably not the ones that young men want to marry. So don’t kill the fun on the first date by talking about making babies! These girls want to play!

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.

“He was great until he opened his mouth.”

Looking for older women means stepping a bit outside of your comfort zone, and you had better be ready. She is going to want to talk, she wants to know your opinions so you need to have some. Dating an older woman may turn out to be a time of intense growth for the younger man. She is going to push and prod in new ways and force you to  have a better idea of who you are and what you believe.

If you insist on going on and about sports or cars, talking only about yourself, and bragging about your sexual prowess, you are going to bore her to tears. You need to pay attention to the subtle clues that indicate she is not interested in what you are saying and rapidly change the conversation. If you can’t read her signals in conversation, she will have no faith that you can read them in bed.

Unless she really pushes the conversation, its best to avoid religion and politics. She has been thinking about these things for much longer than you and will lose all respect if your ideas are idealistic, naive, and shallow. Its much better to just say something like, “ya know, I’m still wrestling with these ideas myself. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about that. Tell me what you think and what led you to believe that.” And then shut up!

Dating an older women can be thrilling but it requires a degree of finesse and depth that not all young men have developed.

Read - Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men to understand her real-life fantasies and how you can help make them come true.